Alive Again
by Britt30
Summary: I reject the ending of Merlin and substitute my own. SPOILERS for Series 5. Arthur is dead and Merlin can't allow that. As a last ditch effort he casts a very, very powerful spell that might just bring Arthur back. But can Merlin survive casting it? Two-shot.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hello! This is my first Merlin fanfic. I reject the ending of the series and substitute my own. Enjoy! Review please!**

"Arthur. Arthur!" I shouted. I shook him, but got no reaction. His face was pale and he wasn't breathing. I could barely breathe myself. My best friend couldn't be dead. After everything I'd done to protect him, he couldn't die that easily.

I wouldn't allow that. It was my destiny to protect Arthur and I would do anything to keep him safe.

I desperately searched my memory for a spell that could fix this, even though I knew no spell could bring someone back to life.

Except one.

A spell. A very old, very powerful healing spell. It used pure magic as its source, literally draining (and generally killing) the sorcerer who cast it. It was only used in the direst of circumstances. There had been only one record of using the spell on someone and both the caster and victim surviving. I laughed mirthlessly. If Arthur survived, my destiny would be fulfilled. I had nothing to lose. So I closed my eyes and began to sing.

"Flower, gleam and glow.

Let your power shine.

Make the clock reverse.

Bring back what once was mine.

Heal what has been hurt.

Change the fates' design.

Save what has been lost,

Bring back what once was mine.

What once was mine."

My voice cracked on the last note and tried to blink away the tears. A pure gold tear fell from my eye and onto Arthur's cheek. Suddenly, I felt extremely faint. Within seconds, I blacked out.

_Ow…_

I cracked my eyes open slowly and then shut them again against the glare of the fire. I moaned and tried again. I squinted my eyes against the light and took in the surroundings despite my pounding head. I was back in the woods, my head resting on my pack. A fire crackled in front of me and everything just hurt. I considered trying to sit up when I heard something coming towards me. A moment later, Arthur walked into the clearing, carrying some fire wood.

"Merlin!" he shouted excitedly. "It's about time you woke up. How do you feel?" I couldn't speak for a minute. He was alive. I was alive. I finally realized he had asked me something.

"Awful," I groaned. I tried to sit up, pushing myself with my elbows.

"Nope," I whispered and turned onto my side. I proceeded to vomit for a good five minutes. When I was finished, I rolled back over and laid down, breathing heavily. Arthur came over with a canteen of water and put it to my lips. I drank gratefully.

"Thank you," I said breathlessly.

"I think I should be the one thanking you," the king replied. "You saved my life." I chuckled.

"That's my job. How long was I out?"

"About four hours. I woke up in the field by the lake. You looked like death itself. In fact, I thought," he swallowed nervously. "I thought you were dead," he whispered.

"I'm amazed neither of us are," I replied after a moment of silence. "The spell I used on you killed the last person who used it."

"Wait, you didn't get me to the lake?" Arthur asked. I shook my head and then winced. No sudden movements.

"No. You were- gone. I've never used that much magic at one time before." Arthur sat back against a tree and we were both lost in thought.

"Did you use it all up?" Arthur asked, interrupting the silence.

"Excuse me?"

"Your magic, did you use it all up?" I hadn't thought of that. What if I had? What would I do then?

_Probably stay on as Arthur's servant. _I thought. _But if I do still have magic, will I even be allowed in Camelot?_ I shoved these thoughts aside and returned to the present.

"I don't know," I replied. "I should probably try." I searched my mind for the easiest spell I could. Summoning wind wasn't too hard. I shakily rose my hand. A soft breeze began to stir, but I had already passed out.

"Merlin?" I asked cautiously as he slumped to the ground. "Merlin!" I ran to his side and picked up his head gently. I placed two fingers under his chin and felt for a pulse, but couldn't find one.

"Oh no you don't." I muttered as I pressed harder. There. Extremely faint, but it was a pulse. I set his head down gently and then began to pack up. I had to get Merlin back to Camelot. I strapped on my sword and what little food we had into Merlin's pack and then I picked him up into a piggy back carry. I noticed he was shivering slightly.

"Come on Merlin. You can make it." After all he had done for me, a lot more than I actually knew about it seemed, I was going to do everything in my power to save him.

He is my best friend.

We, (well really I), trudged through the rest of the night and part of the next day before I couldn't take another step. I nearly fell over trying to put Merlin down in a clearing. His pulse was still faint and his breathing quick and shallow. His black hair was plastered to his forehead by a cold sweat and he was still shaking. I placed my hand on his forehead and drew back sharply at the heat of it. I needed to get him to Gaius. And soon.

So after a quick drink of water, I picked up my dying servant boy and continued on to Camelot. I was really surprised when five minutes later, I walked out of the woods to see Camelot shining in the distance.

_Almost there. Hang in there._ I had hardly taken three steps when I heard hoof beats coming towards us. Dropping Merlin behind me, I unsheathed my sword and took a shaky stance. Imagine how relieved I was when over the rise, came the knights. One of them yelled and they came speeding towards us. Leon was the first one there. He jumped off his still moving horse and tackled me in an embrace.

"You're alive!" he yelled as the other knights dismounted.

"I can't believe it myself," I replied as I sheathed my sword. "Merlin wasn't so lucky though," I said as I picked him up. "Get him to Gaius as fast as you can. I'll follow." I passed him to Leon who hefted him onto his horse and then galloped away at full speed. I mounted with Gwaine and we followed at a slower pace.

"What happened to you two?" he asked as they rode back. I remained silent for a moment, thinking of all that had happened, particularly of Merlin's secret.

I finally replied, "It's a long story, one that I want Merlin by my side when I tell. Just know that he saved my life." Gwaine nodded and we remained silent until we got back to the castle.

"Gaius!" Leon yelled as he slammed the door open. Gaius looked up from his work to see the knight barge in carrying his surrogate son.

"Merlin! Oh my. Quick set him down on the bed. What happened?" he asked as he scurried around the room gathering ingredients and potions.

"I don't know," Leon replied honestly. "Arthur should be coming along behind. He'll know what happened." Gaius stopped in the middle of mixing something.

"Arthur? He's alive as well?"

Leon grinned. "Couldn't believe it myself. What can I do to help?" The physician put the knight to work removing Merlin's scarf and jacket and putting a cool cloth on his forehead. About a half hour later there was a knock at the door and the king came in.

"How is he Gaius?" Arthur asked urgently.

"Well, I'm glad to see you're alive and well. However, Merlin… I'm not sure if he'll make it. It would certainly help if I knew what happened," he replied as he raised an eyebrow. Arthur nodded and leaned against the wall.

"Leon, would you mind if we had a word in private?" Leon looked at him curiously and then left. Arthur waited until he was gone to tell what had happened. When he was done, the king just shook his head in wonder.

"I-I don't even know where to begin asking questions. Did you know about his… secret?" Gaius nodded.

"Yes, in fact I may have taught him some of what he knows," he replied sheepishly. Arthur just nodded in response. "Sire," Gaius began somewhat nervously, "What _are _you going to do about Merlin's powers?" Arthur was quiet and pensive.

"I don't know," he admitted finally. "I just don't know. You know the punishment for sorcery Gaius. But he's only ever used his magic for good… as far as I know," he added with a hint of suspicion. "He's loyal to a fault and the best servant I've ever had. The best _friend _I've ever had. I can't go and betray him like that." Arthur looked over at Merlin, eyes full of worry. "Tell me about the spell he used."

Gaius strode over to his cluttered bookshelf and searched it until he found the one he wanted; a dusty old tome at the very top. He opened it on the table and beckoned Arthur over.

"It is said that all magic originally came from a drop of sunlight. This drop of sunlight grew into a magical flower which was used to heal the queen of the land. Her daughter was born with the same magical properties and she became the first sorceress. All those who have magic are her descendants and each contain a part of that original sunlight.

"The spell Merlin used is one of the oldest enchantments. It was used by the princess to save the life of the one she loved. She used up all of her power to save this man. The only reason they both survived was because she still had the complete drop of sunlight within her.

"Arthur, you need to understand what has happened. What Merlin did should have been impossible. No one else has survived the casting of this spell. The fact that he has, and has still retained his magical abilities, is a miracle. This also proves that he is _the _most powerful sorcerer this world has seen." Gaius let that sink in for a moment. From the bed, Merlin groaned.

"You should probably go sire. You may come and check on him later." Arthur nodded and turned to leave.

"Thank you Gaius," he said and then he left.

**A/N: Well… thoughts? Feelings? Critiques? Ideas? I really have no idea where this story is going to go, so if you have suggestions, please let me know! Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I'm back! Thank you for all of your reviews, follows, and favorites!**

_Merlin's POV_

I could hear a voice coming from somewhere. It sounded so far away. I couldn't make out what it was saying. Painstakingly slow, I reached out to it and it came into focus.

"...you sure Gaius?"

"He's been getting stronger each day, m'lord." I felt something cool on my face. A closer voice spoke.

"Oh, poor dear. I hope he wakes up soon." I struggled against the heavy darkness, trying to wake up. I think I managed to moan at least. The voices went silent. After a moment, they started talking again.

"The knights are getting restless; I've promised to tell them what happened if Merlin hasn't woken up by tomorrow."

"I'd like to know the whole story too," said the voice closest to me.

"I'll do my best," answered Gaius. "But truthfully, it's Merlin's choice if he wakes up or not." I _wanted _to wake up, but it was so hard to just focus on the conversation. The knights, telling them, the whole story…

I broke free of the darkness and my eyes opened. I sat up quickly and scared Gwen something fierce.

"Merlin!" she cried breathlessly. In an instant Gaius and Arthur were by my side. I fell back on the pillows breathing heavily and gritting my teeth in pain. My head felt about ready to split in two and my body ached just as badly. I had woken up, but now I just wanted to go back to bed.

I turned my head slightly and my eyes met Arthur's. "I'm never saving your life again," I told him. He grinned at me.

"Glad you're back Merlin." I gasped as Gaius prodded me.

"I'm sure I will be too, eventually. Will you stop that?" I asked Gaius loudly. He raised an eyebrow at me, but I didn't care. The physician looked at the royal couple.

"I think it's time you leave, Your Majesties. You can come and visit later. And Arthur, please alert the knights that they can stop pestering you." With some parting well wishes, Gwen and Arthur left. Once they were gone, Gaius passed me an extra pillow, knowing I would need it, and pressed it to my face. I screamed, letting out all of the agony I was currently feeling. A few moments later, I finally stopped and Gaius took the pillow away.

"Better?" he asked.

"No," I whimpered and gritted my teeth again.

"Well it's no wonder considering what Arthur's told me. Draining yourself nearly dry and then trying to use magic again! Honestly Merlin! Here, drink this." Gaius held a potion to my lips and I drank gratefully. Immediately, my headache lessened.

"Thanks." I paused. "Do you think it's gone for good now?" I could hear the fear in my voice. Magic was who I was. I was nothing without it. Gaius paused in his potion-making.

"I don't know," he said finally. "I certainly pray it's not. But whether it is or not, you are strictly forbidden from doing magic until you are completely healed!" The tone of his voice left no room for argument.

"How am I going to tell the knights?" I wondered. Gaius continued working as he talked.

"Whatever you do, make sure you tell them before any demonstrations you might try. That'll

dull the shock." I lay in silence for a while, listening to Gaius as worked. I think he thought I was asleep when I whispered,

"What's going to happen to me?" I hated how my voice sounded, but I couldn't help it. I was scared; true, and desperately scared. This was worse than leaving home, sneaking through the caves with the wilddeoren, fighting so many other monsters, and being defenseless without my magic, _combined. _The only time I had been more afraid was when I heard how bad Arthur's wound was. Gaius came over and put a gentle hand on my shoulder.

"I don't know Merlin. But I do know that it will work out for the best. Now get some rest. You're going to need it if you're ever going to get feeling better."

**A/N: Yeah, I know it was short. But look! There's another one!**

Over the next week, I slowly gained his strength back. It irked me to be getting better this slowly. I could barely sit up on the third day. It was especially annoying not being able to use magic. A part of me was dying to use just a bit to grab a glass of water or something simple, but another part of me was terrified that when I tried, it wouldn't work at all.

Arthur came and visited, but when he did he seemed pensive and closed off. I finally asked him what the matter was.

"Huh, oh, just thinking." I smirked.

"A dangerous pastime, sire." He smiled a bit.

"Well it's your fault. You've given me a lot to think about, Merlin." There was a moment of silence. Finally, Arthur spoke again. "Will you be ready for tomorrow?" I nodded. I had managed to walk around the room yesterday, so I was fairly confident I could make it downstairs.

"Good," he said. "And you're ok with telling them… everything?" Arthur was still uncomfortable with saying I had magic, which was understandable I suppose. I nodded.

"It's time they know."

"Alright. I've got some things to finish up. I'll see you tomorrow Merlin." He opened the door and was halfway out before he turned around. "And Merlin? Don't worry. It'll be fine." Then he left.

The next morning after breakfast, I stumbled downstairs to the throne room. I was shaky and out of breath as the guards let me in. It was a closed court day, so the only people in the room were the knights and the King and Queen at the round table.

"Merlin!" Leon shouted. Within minutes, the knights had surrounded me and were clapping me on the back. I couldn't help but smile. "I'd say you look better," Leon continued, "but you really don't. How are you feeling?"

"Sore, but getting better."

"Well that's good to hear. Come sit down. We've been dying to hear what happened!" We approached the table and the knights directed me to chair on the left of Arthur. I raised an eyebrow.

"I get my own chair? I feel so special." Everyone laughed and they all sat down. It felt very odd to be sitting. The knights stared at us expectantly. Arthur and I looked at each other.

"What should we tell them first?" I asked.

"You should probably share your… secret first," he replied. One of the knights laughed.

"What, are you two in love?" Arthur and I instantly recoiled from each other, each of our faces a look of pure disgust.

"No, no, absolutely not. Never," I said firmly. He had Gwen and I still loved Freya.

"Say something like that again and I'll put my sword through your face," Arthur told the knight who put his hands up in mock surrender. Arthur nodded for me to continue.

"The truth is a lot harder to believe, actually." I took a deep breath. "I'm a sorcerer. I have magic. When I saved Arthur, I used most of it up, so sorry if this doesn't work." Everyone was staring at me like I was a lunatic, but there was an air of expectation in the room as I cupped my hands and muttered a spell. There were mild gasps as my eyes flashed gold and a tiny flame appeared in my hand. Carefully, I turned my hand outward and made the flame dance around the table, hovering for a moment in front of me, before disappearing completely. Silence and stunned stares met me when I looked around the table.

"Well, can't say I didn't see it coming," Gwaine said. The knights laughed and Percival shoved him.

"As if. Is that how you've managed to stay alive this long?" Everyone laughed, including myself.

"You mean that's how _you've _managed to stay alive this long." Everyone went, "Ohhhh…" Someone yelled 'burn.' As the table settled down, I couldn't help but smile brightly. I was ecstatic! No one was freaking out, threatening death, anything. A few of them were giving me wary glances, but for the most part… they accepted it.

Times really were changing.

Once everyone was quiet again, Percival said, "Well come on Merlin! Show us something else!" Noises of agreement came from around the table. I put my hands up.

"Sorry, but I can't. I haven't recovered fully and Gaius would have my head if I tried anything else." Disappointed groans came from the knights, but it was all in good humor. Once everyone settled down, Arthur spoke up.

"Well, I guess we should tell them the rest of the story before they explode, huh?"

"I suppose…" I agreed. So we told them. A half hour later, they had the whole story.

"Now, hang on," Gwaine started. "Now that we know you're a, well, sorcerer, I have some questions about the quests we've been on. Like trying to find the Fischer King, the man said we'd need courage, strength, and magic. You were magic, weren't you?" I nodded. Now that Gwaine had broached the subject, I had quite a bit of explaining to do.

"Did you know that rude, old sorcerer who used to bug us a lot?" Arthur asked. Everyone looked at me expectantly. I laughed nervously.

"Well, I guess that's one way you could put it."

"Merlin," Arthur said dangerously. "What do you know about him?"

"Quite a lot, considering, he's, well, me." The air was filled with surprised exclamations.

"No way!"

"Really?"

"The things he said about Uther!"

"Hang on a minute! That means you killed my father!" Arthur cried. Stony silence suddenly filled the room.

"Technically, that was Morgana. She had placed a trap on Uther. Any magic used on him, would instantly kill him. Ask Gaius, I'm telling the truth. I promise, I did my best Arthur." Finally, Arthur nodded.

"Alright. I believe you." Suddenly, he laughed. "You were that sorceress Mordred and I went to see, to get help for Gwen, too!" Everyone started laughing at that and I could feel myself blushing a bit. After a few more hilarious stories and a few serious explanations, Arthur spoke up.

"Well, besides stunning revelations that have been made today, there is some actual business we need to clear up. As you've all heard today, Merlin has confessed to being a sorcerer."

I really didn't like how that word 'confessed' sounded.

"You all know the law for magic in Camelot; death."

I really did not like where this was going.

"Therefore I have no choice in this matter. Merlin, according to the laws of Camelot, you are hereby convicted of sorcery. You are hereby sentenced-"

I closed my eyes and waited for the pin to drop.

"-to be immediately appointed to Court Sorcerer. As for the actual law, Gwenivere and I have decided to abolish it." I looked up, eyes wide with hope. Did he really say what I think he said?

"Times are changing and Camelot needs to keep up with it. We've lived in the shadow of magic far too long. And I'm hoping with Merlin's help, we can change it. He looked over at me and raised an eyebrow, expecting an answer. I couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief and smile.

"My lord, there is nothing I would enjoy more."

**A/N: Tada! I hope this is ok. This is the last chapter (unless anyone has brilliant ideas they would like to share). Thanks for your support!**


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